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by Renee K

Bitterness, strife, anger, and envy are the fiery darts that you viciously hurl at me
I don’t understand why you try to hurt me
I don’t’ understand why you plot, plan, and scheme
You know girl, you are really beginning to scare me
Because it seems as though you wish to ultimately destroy me

You say that I have conjured up all sorts of falsity
And the term “psychologically deranged” best describes me
You say that I continuously insult you and avoid all the blame
And you say I hurl allegations and try to discredit your name
You say that I am a phony and the term “Christian” hardly describes me
You say that God’s got a lot of work to do in my life in order to save me

But I think it is you who is truly mistaken
Because blameless and innocent is not the path that you have taken
Insults you have made and your allegations almost destroyed me
Who in the world do you think you are to try and question my Christianity?
I have only tried to deal with the truth confront all issues and move on with life
But every time I do so I am bombarded with bitterness and strife

I am not saying that I hold no fault and I am completely innocent 
Because Lord knows I fumed and I threw a major fit
I never said that I wasn’t wrong that day I called and cursed you and the Lord’s Holy Name
I was truly out of line and clearly immature
Yet all of my apologies you have chosen to ignore

So, please tell me what more I should do 
How many apologies will be a suffice number for you?
In a spiritual prison it seems you hold me
You sit high on your “throne” and make attempts to stare down at me
I don’t understand why you act this way
Perverting and twisting everything that I say
So, if in fact you’ve moved on and what’s old has been thrown away
Why is there a legal record, in your words, on file with, not one, but two County DA's?

So, here I am and I will say it again
I am truly sorry for the things that I did
It’s been four years now 
Can we please move on 
and finally put the past behind us where it belongs?

I’m really not sure just what I should do 
So, I will leave the next move strictly up to you
I will continue to pray and seek the Lord for you
And hope that he will one day heal and deliver you
If you are not sure just what you should do
just open up your word and Matthew 18:22 will Light the path for you

Written by: Renee K

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