Questions to David
by Ellen M. DuBois
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There are those we have loved and lost who are no longer of this world, but of another. I feel in my heart it is just as real as the one I know; possibly more so.
When my mother was seven months pregnant with me, she buried a son. His name was David. I never knew him as we here on earth define 'knowing', yet somewhere within me there has always been a connection to him. It's quite difficult to explain. I can only say that throughout my entire life I have felt his presence and his life, although short here on earth, has touched mine in ways that I cannot describe nor understand.
I just know that he is there and that we are still sister and brother.
My mother kissed a new life hello and another goodnight. When I say that I somehow felt some of her pain while in her womb as she and my father buried their son may lead some of you to come to the conclusion that I am not 'all there'. That is up to you, but I ask you to keep an open mind when dealing with the unknown and know, too, that those who know me well would call me anything but 'insane'.
Something compelled me to have a conversation with David, my brother, and ask him some questions about his life. I am not gifted in contacting the spirit world, these are simply thoughts that came to me, like that of a radio frequency and I am writing them down. You may call it a writer's overactive imagination or you may attribute it to something more concrete than that. I just know that there are feelings, or hunches that are so strong you cannot disregard them. It may be a doorway has been opened to those in the spirit world because I have allowed it to be opened. I believe and am receptive. I think it is beyond my earthly understanding. We create earthly laws, judgments, stigmas, rules and beliefs. They are not created by God, therefore, we cannot understand what we simply do not know of another realm, another world. A world much closer to God, the Universal Life Force.
I want you to know that as I typed this, I just let my fingers do the walking after I asked a question. No thought as to grammar or style came from me. The words seemed to pop into my head and I typed them down as they came. It was even faster than that.
Me: David, I have always thought about you. I have wondered what you would have been like if you remained here on earth, and I have felt something very special towards you since I can remember. I've always had a curiosity about you, and want to know if you know me and watch over me here on earth.
David: Yes, Ellen, you are my sister. I have known you for your entire life and I do, indeed watch over you and your other sisters. I also watch over Mom and Dad. I Love them very much and I love you, too, very much. I want you to know that when you feel me near, it is because I am near. Although I have resumed a life here, in what you call 'Heaven', I am able to see and feel what goes on on the earth and am acutely aware of what your feelings are, be they sadness, joy, guilt, depression, happiness or fear. One thing I will say is that I wish you wouldn't waste so much time being afraid. For, where you are and what you are experiencing are only a fraction of what is to come. Your life, as you know it now, is quite short compared to the life that lies ahead for you. You are on earth to learn and you are learning quite a bit. Keep your mind and heart open and listen to your instincts. Often times, they are us, and what I mean by us is a group of spirits as you call us, trying to help you and yes, we listen to your prayers for help and those of thanks.
Me: David, why did God take you away so early? You were not even two and it hurt Mom and Dad very much.
David: I was sent to earth for a very short time for a reason. Whenever tragedy strikes, people blame God for it. It's not God's fault, it's all in the plan. I could go into greater detail here about the plan, but I think it would be too complex right now. Let me just say this, that there is always pain in life and without it you would not know joy. There are always lessons to be taught and although I was not on the earthly plane for a very long time, at least in earthly time, I taught a lesson through the pain of loss. I know it's hard for you to understand, but I want you to know that it was not God's intention to hurt your parents when I left to come back home. It was to make them into the people that they are today. They are strong and they appreciate life so very much. They have been an inspiration to many and they are great teachers. Your mother, although appearing like a rock, felt tremendous pain when she lost me. So did your father. Your mother has always had a tremendous faith in God and in His plan, and that helped carry her through that most painful time. Your father, on the other hand, had a very difficult time with my passing and over time, he learned to not blame God for the terrible things in life that sometimes happen. For a long time he did that and had very mixed feelings about God and His mercy. I knew that. He suffered very much but look at him now. He is faithful and such a giver. He is a kind, good soul and I am so proud to have been born to both he and your mother. Cherish them, Ellen, like I know you already do. Show it even more. For there will come a time when you feel like you cannot talk to them or show them your love anymore when they leave this earth. Know that you can. They will always be alive and there to listen to you and to love you. There are so many of us that do now.
Me: I sometimes thought that my father wished I was a boy, although he never, ever said that. As a matter of fact, he's told me that all he cared about when I was born was that I was healthy. I believe him, but what do you have to say about that?
David: Your father loves you for who you are and always has. He feels a special connection with you because of the gift of music that you both share. He loves your sisters just as much, but the musical connection that you share with him is special and you should treasure that. It gives you something that's rare and wonderful; an understanding of a part of each other that many don't have. The same goes for your mother. When she told you that she felt there was something special about you when you were born, she meant it. I think you feel what I mean. Your mother loves all three of you girls very much, no more, no less. But, with you and your mother, there is a very spiritual bond that will never be broken and that pleases God very much. You are so special to both of your parents. Please don't ever forget that.
Me: Do you hear me when I ask for help or when I don't ask but feel I need it?
David: I want you to know that you never have to talk for me, or for any other spirits as you call us, to hear you. It's not like on earth. Oh, yes, I know that there are those that claim they can read the minds of others. As a matter of fact, there are people with that gift. But, here, it's so very different from what you know. Here, we just have too think something and it is known. If you think something or feel something I feel it, too. If you are sad I know it and feel it and am there beside you to help get you through, even if you don't ask. But, I want you to be happier. Please hear me. I want you to enjoy life more and to see all the beauty that is around you on the earthly plane. That is very important. You are there to learn and to experience and to use the gifts that God gave you. In many ways, you do, but you, like so many others, have not even come close to your full potential. Pray to God to reach your full potential. Ask Him what He wants you to do and follow his answers. You will live a much more fulfilling life on earth. God wants you to be happy, Ellen. That's all he wants. By following His word you will be. Don't ignore that feeling you get inside that tells you that there's more you want to do with your life. You have a great tendency to want to help people and that is a good thing. You hold yourself back from doing that and that makes me sad, but it makes God sad. Don't ever think He doesn't love you and care for you. Remember, He is your father. Your heavenly Father and just like the 'Dad' that you have on earth, he hurts when you hurt and is happy when you are. Follow your heart. Follow the truth. The truth is God. There is no other truth. It's easy to be fooled. Trust in God and you won't be. You will know you are on the right path for you. The true path. Your true path.
Me: I often talk to people I love who have died, like Grammy, Pop and Nana. Do they hear me, too? Sometimes, I feel my Pop's presence so much it's like he's right beside me. I can even hear his voice sometimes.
David: We are all here watching all of you and loving all of you. Your Pop, (He is smiling now), knows you very well and is always there for you and you are right. You do feel him a lot around you because you ask for him to be near you many times. Especially when you are confused. For in your heart, you know you can turn to him and you take great comfort, as you did when he was alive on the earthly plane, in knowing that he is there just having him around. He is proud of you but he wants you to know that life has its downs as well as its ups and asks that you not despair so much over certain things and have faith in your plan. If you listen to your heart, which is God, you will be all right. He says, "It's okay, kid."
Me: What is it like where you are, in Heaven? Is it like earth? I don't feel it's in the sky, but somehow right here but invisible to me. Maybe it's my imagination or maybe I have read too many books, but something inside of me tells me that where you are is here, just on a different level that I cannot be in or see, but can feel. Is that true?
David: Yes, that's true. When people talk of heaven and they think of it as a place in the sky, that is all that their minds can comprehend. Many think like you do. You are not alone in that thought. And, there is no right or wrong. Whatever people want to feel Heaven is is okay. Having faith that there is another life and in God is what's really important. Think of Heaven as the earth as you know it, but many, many, many more times as beautiful. It truly is another world, another realm, one that is much easier to live in than where you are now. Here, you don't experience the pain and the lessons that you do on earth, or the earthly plane as you call it. Here, there is Love and Love is God. Here, we can see our lives on earth and we know what we were supposed to have learned or taught and we live for many different reasons than you do. We are not concerned with money or fancy houses or cars or status. For we are all one. We are all a part of God, just like you are on the earthly plane, but we know it here. There is no doubt. We are close to God and He is the Divine and we do not question Him or anything else here. We will never know as much as God, but we have a much greater understanding of His eternal love and we do not live with the fear of death, for we already know that it does not exist. You, not matter how strong your faith, still have a question or a fear about death. I know it because I know your mind and your heart. You have come a long way, but please believe, as I am communicating with you now, that your life on earth is just one life, not the eternal life. It is a place to learn. When you move on to your new and beautiful life, you will know what I mean. Right now, do your best to have the faith that you need and do your best to grasp what I am telling you. You cannot have all the answers now. That would defeat your purpose of being on the earthly plane. Even we don't have all the answers here, but I cannot explain all of that to you right know because I know that you will not understand all of it. It's not that you don't have the intellect, you do. You all do on earth. But, you think a certain way there and in some ways, it's like we are speaking a different language at times. But, we can communicate in the same language, as we are now, in thought, in love, in spirit and in the light of God.
Me: David, I love you and I want you to know that. I've never done anything like this before. I love my family who is there and I want them to know it. I miss them very much but I do believe they are in a better place and that they do live on. Please tell them for me.
David: They already know. And, I love you, too, Ellen. So does God. He is always here for you and so are we, watching you and your sisters and the new baby and everyone. We are here and we listen. Don't be afraid. There is no dark, only if you create it. There is only light, one light, and that's the light of God. Live in that light and you will feel and see things that you never dreamed possible. Live in Love. Know that my love follows you wherever you are and that I and others are always in your heart. Your soul, where God resides, is always with you to help you, give you strength, comfort you and guide you. You have a wonderful soul. All souls are created by God, therefore, they are all wonderful. Sometimes people do bad things, but that is not God's will. That is their will. Walk in light and carry my love for you with you always. Carry God's love with you always.
Me: Thank you, David.
David: You don't have to thank me. There is no need for thanks. There is no need to thank someone for loving you. Just as you are. © Ellen M. DuBois
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