[Marnie] Before we officially start, would anyone like to share what they "think" stands in their way of a relationship with God? If anything...

[Marnie] or a closer relationship with God...

[tbangel567] busyness 

[flyinhawai] not enough time to do everything

[Cheryl] I think I try to hang on to doing things "my" way

[Jeanine] For me, what stands in the way or has stood in the way is distance I've created

[Margarita] lazyness

[Marnie] How/why do you feel you've created a distance?

[Jeanine] I am trying to undo that now after working on my anger

[Jeanine] I was mad at Him

[Marnie] oh...

[Jeanine] Now, it's like I have to get to know Him all over again

[Jeanine] like with any estranged relationship

[Marnie] I've found that anger at God often comes because we don't really understand Him or who He is or how He interacts with us...

[Marnie] Hopefully, today's chat will help you with that...

[Marnie] Let's get started...

[Jeanine] and the habits I used to have -- reading the Bible, having a quiet time, I have to re-establish

[Jeanine] I'm sure that's true

[Marnie] I'm going to do a lot of "talking" up front to lay the foundation and then we'll open it up to questions and conversation...

[Jeanine] and not accepting that bad things happen

[Marnie] Right...

[Marnie] First we want to answer two important questions..

[Marnie] Who are you? And Why are you hear on this earth?

[Marnie] Acts 17:28-29: For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device.

[Marnie] You are the offspring (child) of God. As Hosea 1:10 says, "Ye are the sons [and daughters] of the living God. Genesis 1:26-27 explains that you are made in His image and His likeness. There is a piece of you that is divine that you have inherited from Him. This is your spirit (Job 32:8) that came

[Marnie] from his presence.

[Marnie] As a child of God... you have certain divine attributes that He has give you... gifts, talents, and potential.

[Marnie] Now... Why are you here?

[Marnie] Jeremiah 1:4-5 says "Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

[Marnie] Just as Jeremiah, before the Lord formed you in your mother's womb, He knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb, He sanctified you, and ordained you to fulfill a divine purpose for Him. You are uniquely called and chosen to serve Him and His children, in a way that only you can.

[Marnie] Anyone know the story of Esther?

[Cheryl] yes

[TriciaEBL]Yes.

[flyinhawai] yes

[Marnie] Do you remember what her uncle Mordecai told her to persuade her to go speak to the king about saving the Jews?

[Marnie] Esth. 4: 14: "For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

[Marnie] You too have been placed at the right time and the right circumstances with the talents and gifts that will enable you to fulfill a divine mission. You were foreordained for this mission before the foundations of the world. But, like Esther, you have the freedom to choose to seek, accept and fulfill that mission or to refuse or avoid it. God has given you your agency (free will) to choose.

[Marnie] How does it make you feel to know that you are a child of God and that He has a divine plan for your life?

[Karon] safe and secure

[Marnie] Thanks, Karon.

[Marnie] anything else... anyone?

[Cheryl] terrified too

[TriciaEBL] Humble.

[Marnie] right... it can be scary... and humbling

[flyinhawai] I would like to know that plan

[Marnie] Good...

[TriciaEBL] Me too.

[Marnie] Hopefully... we'll set you on your way to learning it today.

[Marnie] Do you remember the parable of the talents? Where one servant was given 5 talents, another 2 and another 1?

[TriciaEBL]Yes.

[flyinhawai] yes

[Marnie] The one with 5 doubled his to 10, the one with 2 doubled his to 4 and the one with 1... what did he do with his?

[TriciaEBL] Hid his.

[flyinhawai] buried it

[Marnie] Right... he hid it... why did he hide his?

[Margarita] yes

[flyinhawai] because he wanted to save it

[Margarita] because he was insecure

[TriciaEBL] He was lazy.

[Marnie] He was afraid.

[Marnie] He said, "I knew that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathered where thou hast not strawed."

[Marnie] Who does the master (or lord) in this story represent?

[TriciaEBL] God.

[Margarita] The Lord

[Marnie] Right... Is God a "hard man, reaping where He hasn't sown..."

[Jeanine] No

[Cheryl] no

[tbangel567] no

[TriciaEBL]No.

[Marnie] So this servant had an innacurate perception of his master, didn't he...

[tbangel567] he didnt know the Lord it sounds like

[Marnie] I would submit to you that our perspective of God affects us greatly.

[tbangel567] amen marnie

[TriciaEBL]True.

[Jeanine] it sure does !

[Marnie] If we see God as a fearful master, then we will be afraid and it will immobilize us. If we see Him as a loving Father who is quick to forgive, then we will feel safe and secure like Karon described earlier.

[Cheryl] wow

[Margarita] that's it

[TriciaEBL] We will also want to please him.

[Marnie] Right...

[Marnie] Many times our perspective of God is directly linked to our view of our own parents. Not always... but if we had kind, loving, forgiving parents, we usually see our Father in Heaven the same way.

[Marnie] But if our parents were "hard" or unyielding... we may see God as a God who is waiting for us to mess up so He can zap us.

[flyinhawai] I agree

[TriciaEBL]I agree also.

[Margarita] me too

[tbangel567] not zapping but constantly saying when are you going to learn

[flyinhawai] How do you change your perspective? I had strict parents

[Marnie] So this is why it is so important to 1) realize we are a child of God and 2) that God is a kind and loving Father who is quick to not only forgive us, but also quick to bless us whenever He can.

[Marnie] You learn about Him. "Take my yoke upon you and Learn of Me" Jesus said.. "For I am meek and lowly of heart...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

[Jeanine] "quick to bless us whenever He can." -- that's the part I have trouble with, and the "loving" part.

[Marnie] What we want to do today is a) learn about our yokes and b) learn about laying it down c) take up Christ's.

[tbangel567] sometimes we stop the blessings from coming that's why he can't

[Marnie] Jeanine.. that's because you've gone through some hard things and it doesn't seem to add up?

[Jeanine] probably

[Marnie] Bad things happen to good people... God sends the rain on the evil and the good.

[Jeanine] and my parents were difficult -- not quick to bless

[Marnie] We all have burdens. God doesn't keep the bad from happening, He gives us tools (His yoke) to make them easy and light.

[Marnie] The problem comes when we try to deal with burdens with our own yoke. Does anyone know what a "yoke" is?

[Jeanine] I tend to take the hard way -- would like to get in on that "easy and light" deal

[flyinhawai] ?? will I be able to print this out. There is a lot of good things here. I don't want to lose?

[Cheryl] it's used to help carry burdens

[Jeanine] used to guide an animal ?

[Marnie] we will have a transcript available...

[Marnie] Right animals or humans wear them about their necks to help them carry heavy burdens... burdens they could never carry without the yoke.

[Marnie] If a yoke is ill-fitted or not fashioned correctly, it can chafe and irritate the wearer. If it isn't balanced correctly, the load will knock them off balance.

[Marnie] Throughout our lives, we create our own yokes that aren't always the best for carrying our loads. But Christ's yoke is perfectly fitted and perfectly balanced.

[Marnie] So now we want to talk about how we formed our own yoke. This is what I call the "peeling the onion" analogy.

[Marnie] Grab a piece of paper and in the very center of it draw a circle about the size of a nickel.

[Marnie] Inside this circle, write "Me and Jesus"

[Marnie] This is you when you were very first born.. a little baby. Coming straight from God to this earth.. pure, innocent, filled with potential... packaged with your own unique gifts and talents in embryo.

[Jeanine] ok

[Marnie] Jesus told us in Mathew 18:1-4 to become as a little child... for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

[Marnie] Why would Jesus tell us to become as a little child?

[Cheryl] they have no pretense

[Jeanine] they are trusting

[tbangel567] so we would always be innocent

[TriciaEBL]Because as a child, we are more trusting.

[Marnie] all good answers.. excellent

[Jeanine] they may know or "see" God more easily

[Marnie] true...

[Marnie] Now, as this little baby begins to grow up, she encounters other people... she becomes affected by her parents, her environment.

[Marnie] It's a fact of life that parents make mistakes... we all do...

[Marnie] What are some well-meaning and not so well-meaning mistakes that parents make that can affect a child?

[Cheryl] being unforgiving

[flyinhawai] they want to protect so they take away choices

[tbangel567] being so strict even though you feel you let your children get away with eveything

[TriciaEBL] Not teaching your child to be responsible.

[Margarita] their way of life

[Marnie] all wonderful answers...

[Marnie] So draw another circle around the circle that says "Me and Jesus" -- and label it "Parental Layer"

[Marnie] Our first layer that begins to affect us and starts forming our "yoke" is what our parents have done or taught us.

[Marnie] These could be good or bad things. But what our parents do... forms the first filter through which we look at the world and deal with life's challenges.

[tbangel567] that is what I am afraid of - distorting the view of Jesus and the Lord towards my children

[Marnie] I know how you feel tbangel...

[Marnie] Now, as this child grows up and goes off to school and interacts with teachers and other children, what are some things that can happen to her that affect the way she thinks, believes or acts?

[flyinhawai] she is criticized

[TriciaEBL]Peer pressure.

[Marnie] right...

[Cheryl] competition

[tbangel567] being picked on, no friends

[flyinhawai] she begins to believe everyone else and not what she was taught

[Cheryl] fear of new things and people

[Marnie] Ok, draw another circle around our onion here and put "insecurities"... you can put another circle and put "peer pressure"

[Marnie] As we go through life we accumulate these layers.

[Marnie] Now, what are some bad habits that teenagers often pick up because of peer pressure and insecurities?

[Cheryl] drinking

[flyinhawai] smoking, drinking, swearing

[TriciaEBL]Bad attitude.

[Cheryl] lying

[flyinhawai] immoral behavior

[Marnie] all right answers... you could also add vanity, pride

[Marnie] All of these start building up layers. You can add some more layers to your onion and label them with the ideas we just came up with.

[Marnie] Now, can you see where if a child was born in a family that never taught her about God... or worse taught her that He was out to get her.... was critical of her, and then she went out into the world and picked up habits, she could have a very ill-fitted and unbalanced way of dealing with life's challenges?

[Marnie] This person could live in a horrible state of fear and anxiety, could she not?

[TriciaEBL]Yes.

[Cheryl] oh yes

[Margarita] yes

[Marnie] So lets talk about the tools for peeling this onion and getting back down to that "little child" that we once were.

[Marnie] Now, I'm going to be honest with you... this is a process that will take beyond this life. Some scars will only be healed when we cross the veil and Jesus is able to repair all the damage to our souls...

[Marnie] But much of this "peeling" can be done in this life.. as we follow Jesus, learn of Him and take up His yoke.

[Marnie] Jesus wants us to lay down our yoke...not just tack his on top. So that's what the peeling is all about... laying ours down. As we lay ours down, we take up His, day by day.

[Marnie] There are 5 tools for peeling the onion

[Marnie] Tool #1: Humble Prayer: not ordinary prayer, but crying, wresting, pleading kind of prayer that brings you to a state where you're willing to surrender to God and do WHATEVER He requires.

[Marnie] This type of prayer rarely happens unless something bad has happened to us... some trial or challenge.

[Marnie] Within every bad thing is an equal and opposite good thing. The good that often comes from our challenges is that it causes us to turn to God and grow closer to him...

[Marnie] To recognize where we need to change. This prayer includes Recognition and a Committment to change.

[Marnie] Committment can only come when we want to BE who God wants us to be more than we want the benefits of our old way of doing things.

[Marnie] Tool #2: Immerse Yourself in the Word - "Learn of Me" as Jesus said.

[Marnie] Prayer and scripture study are like a divine intravenious feeding straight into the center of the onion.

[Marnie] Tool #3: Loving Service. As you recognize and learn more about Him, the more you have a desire to share what you are learning.

[Marnie] Your healing is completely linked to your sharing. How will you reach out to others and serve them? In particular, as you begin to learn and grow, the Lord will open doors of opportunity for you to share what you are learning with others.

[Marnie] This step is critical...

[Marnie] It is where we begin to experience a change of heart as we begin to be filled with His love.

[Marnie] Tool #4: Do all you can do... set goals, develop a strategy... lay out ways you will avoid tempting situations. You know where Satan's going to hit you... head him off before he can.

[Marnie] Did you hear about the two overweight ladies who were planning to start a diet? They were standing outside a bakery looking at the calorie laden goodies.

[Marnie] And one lady elbows the other one and whispers, "Let's just go in and see what happens..."

[Marnie] Make decisions in advance... don't head into tempting situations and "see what happens..."

[Marnie] Tool #5: Give it to God. There is a point where you will hit a wall and willpower will not be enough.

[Marnie] I have seen this happen time and time again... we come to the point where we have to cry and plead for help and for Christ to make up the difference. And then, in his perfect time... he does.

[Marnie] I'm running over a bit here... but I'd like to close with a quote from CS Lewis and then anyone who would like to stay after and ask questions can... In Mere Christianity, he wrote:

[Marnie] "When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected: I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself…

[Marnie] Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth?

[Marnie] If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am… Now that cellar is out of reach of my conscious will. I can to some extent control my acts: I have no direct control over my temperament.

[Marnie] And if (as I said before) what we are matters chiefly as evidence of what we are-then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, voluntary efforts cannot bring about… But I cannot, by direct moral effort, give myself new motives. After the first few steps in the Christian life we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done ONLY by God."

[Marnie] Any questions? comments?

[Marnie] Or did I babble on and lose you?

[Cheryl] thank you

[TriciaEBL] Thank you. I need to hear this, since I've been struggling for the last six weeks.

[Marnie] you're welcome.

[Marnie] Thank you all for coming!

[Jeanine] I needed it, too !

[flyinhawai] Thank you

[Margarita] Thanks Marnie, the word was right to the need

[TriciaEBL] You're welcome. Thank you.

[Jeanine] Thank you, Marnie !!

[Marnie] One note on peeling the onion... start with the outer layer first... the habit that went on last. You will also find that layers are anchored deeper to other layers.

[Marnie] For example, an addiction is most likely anchored to a deeper layer of insecurity.

[Jeanine] How do you know which one went on last ?

[TriciaEBL] They tend to build on each other.

[tbangel567] thanks marnie

[Marnie] Well, this mainly works if you have obvious sin issues. For example, a person may have picked up an alcohol addiction after they picked up their habit of swearing. Start with the alcohol... take it one at a time.

[Marnie] Some people tackle everything at once... Let the Spirit be your guide. Just don't run faster than you have strength, get discouraged & quit.

[Marnie] I have about 15 minutes here if anyone wants to ask questions or anything...

[TriciaEBL] How do you set goals, when you feel as if you're in limbo.

[Marnie] Set goals that will help you draw closer to the Lord... for example... a goal to read your scriptures 30 minutes/day... to say 1 prayer a day that is a gratitude-only prayer or something like that.

[Marnie] When you're "in limbo" God is giving you time to draw closer to Him and work on your relationship with Him.

[TriciaEBL] Thank you.

[Marnie] hope it helps...

[TriciaEBL] It does. I'm learning to let go of my situation and lean on God.

[Marnie] Hold a vision of the kind of life you'd like to have ... in faith believing that He will give it to you... and in His perfect timing... your righteous desires will come to fruition. Some things just take time to grow.

[TriciaEBL] They sure do, but our God is faithful and you are right about his perfect timing.

[TriciaEBL] Thank you again, and I look forward to other chats.

[Marnie] Thank you! Bye!