Happiness Seminar

Shall we start with the 4 cornerstones of the happiness seminar? They're pretty simple...

1. Be who you are
2. Be where you are
3. Take care of yourself
4. Give something back

Questions? comments? :)

Marnie: I think true happiness - ultimate joy comes in giving something back.

Sunny: I agree but you can't really give until you learn to appreciate how special you are.

Marnie: Right... good point Sunny.. we have to believe we have something to give before we can give.

Butterfly: Living in the moment is especially challenging, my mind seems to wander and I would like to develop focus.

Sunny: when does your mind tend to wander, butterfly?

Butterfly: There's so many passages letting us know how special we are.

Sunny Interestingly enough the present moment is all we ever have.

Butterfly: I just always seem to be thinking of 2 or 3 things at once and I find it hard to concentrate.

Marnie: I can relate to that butterfly :)

Sunny: I wrote a book entitled, "How to be organized in spite of yourself," and in there I talk about people who are "hoppers." I think you may be one. :)

Butterfly: Probably, I don't mean to be rude and try not to let myself go.

Sunny: Hoppers enjoy having several things going at once, but they can find it difficult to finish things.

Butterfly: Amen!

Sunny: You need to use little tricks to stay on target.

Butterfly: We do have good hearts though. :)

Sunny Like an alarm watch, let's say.

Sunny: Yes, you do! :)

Butterfly: Tricks, what tricks?

Sunny: I have a special To Do list for hoppers...lets you hop back and forth between several things while still staying on target with what you have to accomplish.

Sunny: Butterfly, you seem like you have a very good attitude about things.

Butterfly: I like to think I do.

Sunny: With a good attitude, you can accomplish anything! What's your most significant goal right now?

Butterfly: I'm not as disorganized as I come across.

Sunny: You sound better than you think you do.

Butterfly: right now I'm job hunting, we just relocated.

Sunny: What type of work do you do?

Butterfly: Sales management, training, and motivation.

Sunny: Sounds like it suits you! :)

Butterfly: It does

Sunny: So you'd say you're happy?

Butterfly: Maintaining ones self esteem is paramount and right now mine is a little low so happiness is off there somewhere. I'm more frustrated right now.

Sunny: How are you taking care of yourself?

Butterfly: read a lot!!!!

Butterfly: I don't exercise enough since we've moved.

Sunny: Can you take walks?

Butterfly: My job was very physical, although we are on the 3rd floor now.

Butterfly: Yes I can, but too lazy.

Sunny: Getting outside and doing anything with nature can help.

Butterfly: I know you're right.

Marnie: I would agree with that... I can go outside even for 15-20 minutes with the kids and I come back with a better frame of mind and more energetic.

Sunny: So how can we get you to do what you know is right? :)

Butterfly: My day just seems to slip away. We do go to the pool.

Sunny: It doesn't slip away, really you *allow * it to. :)

Butterfly: I enjoy outdoors and fresh air. You can't get me to .. I have to do it!

Sunny: At some level, everything we do is a choice. You have to believe that you're important to give time and energy to. As important as anything, or anyone else.

Butterfly: Of course I do at some level let it go I do try to accomplish my list.

Sunny: We're not just talking ToDo's. We're talking "To Be's" :)

Butterfly: Good one.

Butterfly. I want to be more disciplined but not rigid.

Sunny: You've heard: be a human being, not a human doing. :)

Butterfly: I like that

Sunny: How do you think you become more disciplined?

Butterfly: By doing, repetition.

Sunny: And loving yourself for making the effort

Butterfly: and believing in what you're doing

Sunny: have you tried a loose schedule?

Sunny: anything that you can make routine becomes easier.

Marnie: I think we have to develop the "desire" first before we can do anything... and then let that desire work in us until we can believe and then achieve.

Butterfly: I don't think I could get any looser!

Sunny *L*

Sunny: Marnie's right. :)

Sunny: But you have to encourage the desire to come out. Not beat it out. :)

Butterfly: I know I thing growing as a person also brings out the good stuff.

Sunny: How about tightening up that schedule then?

Butterfly: You'd think that at my age I'd have it all together!

Sunny: You can approach it from both directions.

Sunny: know when to be gentle with yourself, and when to toughen up a little.

Butterfly: I know I need to change some of the content on my to do's.

Sunny: What do you mean, change the content?

Butterfly: I always put what needs to be done, jobs, tasks, nothing for me.

Sunny: Ok, get a piece of paper. Make 2 columns.

Butterly: perhaps a little fun on the list would help.

Butterly: Ok

Sunny:The first one entitle: For Them. The second: For me. :)

Butterfly: ok

Sunny: Make sure the list is equally long for both!!

Butterly: You're kidding!!

Sunny: most people who say they're not as happy as they'd like to be have an imbalance there.

Butterfly: Does take a shower fall under them or me???

Sunny: have you ever been on an airplane?

Butterfly: Yes

Sunny: Where they give the speech about what to do if the cabin pressure falls? And the oxygen mask comes down? If you're traveling with someone who needs assistance, whose face should you put the mask on first?

Butterfly: I get it.

Sunny: If you can't breathe, you can't help anyone else. You have to take care of yourself first. That's not selfishness.

Butterfly: ok

Sunny: it's a hard thing for women and particularly mothers, to accept. So what are you going to do for yourself today? :)

Butterfly: So when my arthritis flares up and I get my stress rash... slow down the brain and let them do it.

Sunny: Exactly

Butterfly: I did job hunting, but I'm sure that's not what you meant.

Sunny: and even before you're stressed out. :)

Sunny: No I mean something that makes you feel calm or comfortable, or whatever state it would feel good to achieve.

Butterfly: I always do take time with my makeup skincare, etc. I think I'll do a little more reading.

Sunny: Good what kind of reading?

Butterfly: I just finished Applause from Heaven. Whatever I have here. I don't like novels usually read motivational or uplifting books although I am into the left behind series.

Sunny: It's not so much what you do, as if what you do helps you get to a state where you feel good enough to accomplish those other things. You should keep a list of everything that brings you pleasure... figure out how much time each thing takes...

Butterfly: Good idea

Sunny: and make sure to do several each day!

Butterfly: Ok

Sunny: personal pleasures are only as far away as you make them.

Butterfly: So does doing or being bring happiness or a combination?

Sunny: Being who you are, and doing the things that you know are right. And "Right" means for you, too! :)

Butterfly: ahhh, I'm job hunting and reinventing myself to find something. Maybe I need to make a list of me then look for that job.

Sunny: are you in your 40's by any chance? :)

Butterfly: I was til Sept. 29

Sunny: Hey, I'm 49, and I understand, completely. :) I turned my whole life around in the last decade.

Butterfly: I hate to admit it but it does get harder with each move.

Sunny: In the last decade, that is ;)

Sunny: moves are hard, that's true. That's why you have to be even nicer to yourself

Butterfly: I'd like to help people, my dad always said I should be a speaker. He says I have a gift, but he's prejudice.

Sunny: btw, I'm a personal coach, if you want to talk further about this at some point, you really do seem to be on the verge of finding yourself. :)

Butterfly: I don't mind the move it's starting over each time.

Sunny: I think you should listen to your father. ;)

Butterfly I definitely have the gift of gab!!!

Sunny: and you should harness that in some way! :)

Butterfly: I know he's right, I guess I don't know where or how to start. I did send my resume to Dale Carnage and Franklin Covey

Sunny: What do you feel inspired to share with people?

Butterfly: I sued to be a director with Mary Kay!!! And I did speaking there.

Sunny: That's great training! You need to narrow down your specific areas of interest.

Butterfly: I want everyone to know they are unique - a gift from God the universe and no one else can do what they were sent here to do.

Sunny: You and me both *S* What are your biggest talents, would you say? any specific skills?

Marnie: Make that 3!! :)

Butterfly: Crafts making things from nothing.

Sunny: :)

Butterfly: I love creating pretty things.

Sunny: Do you prefer working with children or adults?

Butterfly: I like both I was a den mother for a year.

Sunny: I could tell. :)

Butterfly: How?

Sunny: You have a lot going for you, then.

Sunny: I'm not sure. I just picked it up in between the lines. Why don't you design a job description for your ideal job. It doesn't have to exist.

Butterfly: I just wish I knew how to harness all the loose pieces and create the perfect career.

Butterfly: It probably doesn't!!! How did you get started?

Sunny: I believe in starting with the ideal, and moving back if you have to.

Butterfly: I know everything happens for a reason and we don't just fall into things.

Sunny: why settle if it's not necessary? Think positive, and come from your strengths. That's why we're talking today! :) No accidents. I've been organizing professionally for 20 years.

Butterfly: Backwards?

Sunny: I've been coaching for the last few, as the Internet opened that up.

Butterfly: Organizing persons or corporations?

Sunny: I do both. You need to start with finding your personal mission, and then matching that to a career/job.

Butterfly: I do closets and offices of fellow sales managers!!! Not on your scale though.

Sunny: I started small, and grew as I gained the confidence and experience.

Butterfly: By making a list, starting with where I'd like to be then unbuild on paper till I have a start? Is that what you mean? Did you take training?

Sunny: Start with what you love. Do a mind map of everything.

Butterfly: Crafts and all?

Sunny: I have a master's degree in psychology, but everything from there was self-taught. I "invented" myself. :)

Sunny: Everything. Leave nothing out. Then you'll have a visual picture of the "total you."

Butterfly: Then you know what I'm trying to do.

Sunny: Yes

Butterfly: That might be scary!

Sunny: it will be exciting! You just need a cheerleader!

Butterfly: It does help to have one. Who's yours.

Sunny: Yes, support is important. Good question... family and friends, I guess. But there was a time I was pretty much on my own.

Butterfly: That's where I am now I feel

Sunny: If you'd like to talk more about this, my email is SunCoach47@aol.com. Maybe I can get you started. :)

Butterfly: I think this is why I haven't found a job yet... I would love to have your opinion.

Sunny: It will be my pleasure, drop me a line, and we'll see what we can do!