Letting Go of Clutter Chat Transcript

Debbie Williams: Now if this were a regular class, live or by phone, I'd tell you about my 4 simple steps for organizing any clutter. But since we're a small group with a limited amount of time, why don't you ask me those burning questions and I'll make sure you walk away with some practical tips! Does anyone have the first question about clutter?

Cynthia: The most difficult thing for me is making time to clear up the years of disorganization. How does one start and keep it up?

Debbie: Cynthia, it's not quite as difficult as you might think. Let's go back to those 4 steps I mentioned earlier, shall we?

Cynthia: For example, I have piles and piles of books, papers and magazines, which will take "forever" to clean up, or so it feels.

Cynthia: Okay

LaMonica73: I know what you mean Cynthia

Debbie: The 4 Steps to AWESOME Organizing are: start with a PLAN, sort through your CLUTTER, ORGANIZE your stuff, and MAINTAIN it everyday. If you take the first letter of each of those key words, it spells AWESOME> It's a great way to remember the order of the steps in their importance.

Debbie: So let's start with a plan. Usually this is the most overlooked step, but it's really the place to start. Everything else falls into place (literally) around it.

Focus on just ONE little area of clutter not the entire room (or house, car, office...) for now. The rest will be there later. We want to take a little bit out of your clutter, not the whole thing.

LaMonica 73: I no longer have a job and I hate for my home to be a mess but I am so overwhelmed how do I get a grip even if I have a plan.

Debbie: I can either help you work through paper piles in GENERAL or in one area of your home -- where shall we start?

LaMonica: General

Debbie: General it is!

Paula: speaking as a junkmail diva general, please

Cynthia: Yes, how to decide what to keep and what to get rid of.

LaMonica: amen to that

Debbie: Make a plan to start in one little corner of the room or area that bothers you the most. Set a goal of what you WANT it to look like. Then set a realistic DEADLINE and write that date on your calendar. This is so important so you can stay focused and keep going!

Debbie: Once you know where you're going to START, then it's time to SORT. This is easy with mail - you probably do it without realizing it every time you process it.

Cynthia: I still have trouble deciding what to keep, what to get rid of and how to get rid of it.

Paula: I'm supposed to process it? ;)

Debbie: Sort like you're dealing cards, by ORGANIZING category not classification. Instead of sorting your incoming papers by: bills, catalogs, coupons and so forth. You want to sort them by action: To Pay, To File, To Call, To Follow-Up, etc. Make sense?

Debbie: Your plan will include CATEGORIES for each of these actions, depending on how your mind works. That helps you get started, but you can add other categories later on when you get your own system.

Paula: absolutely makes sense

LaMonica73: The mail part is easy for me because if it is junk mail...it goes straight to the trash outside...it doesn't make it in the house.

Cynthia: Maintenance makes sense; however my problem is getting through the old stuff and processing it... piles and piles

Debbie: Yes, Cynthia, you do PROCESS the incoming mail, as if you worked in the mailroom. Sometimes papers can overwhelm us, but let's start with what we have and then later we can streamline the new system. Keep it simple, and move through it fast. Don't worry about what you need to keep or toss just yet.

Cynthia: Yes, I understand

Karon: my husband spends half his life looking for things... any tips for saving time?

Debbie: Then it's time to ORGANIZE your papers, using those first categories I gave you (Pay, File, CallI, Follow-up). With clothes, it would be by type of clothing: shirts, pants, shoes, belts and so forth. Group like items together in piles or small bins and boxes.

LaMonica: Kids are my problem I clean their rooms and go through clothes but it is hard for me to get rid of their clothes because I have 4 boys that I know the clothes can be passed down to, but then I feel guilty if I buy for one; I feel I need to buy for the other 3.

Debbie: Create a home for your items, whether clothes or paper or pantry items, WHERE THEY WILL BE USED. Then you'll keep up the system better since it's used frequently and makes them easy to find and put away.

Debbie: Lastly you want to MAINTAIN your new system every day. File once a week instead of twice a year; reorganize your neat closet each week instead of with the season change, etc.

Debbie: Karon, that's a great question! The best tip is to make him responsible for his own items so he can find them easier. Create a home for his things, and encourage him to put them in the SAME place each time he finishes using them. That's key to finding them again!

Karon: Yeah I know that, but convincing him of it is another story! He doesn't expect me to find things for him, but all of his losing and hunting just drives me crazy – lol

Debbie: LaMonica, kid clutter is challenging isn't it? Try using under-the-bed bins for those hand-me-downs. Label the ends of the boxes with the types of clothing and sizes. It'll be like shopping when they outgrow old ones and need new ones again, but they'll shop in Mom's stash instead of the mall!

LaMonica: Then do like I do... I make mine find it on his own or if I find it I put it in the same spot that he left but make it more visible.

Cynthia: I tend to hoard books. Do you have any suggestions on how to let go of things that are just taking up space and haven't been used but you hold on to them "just in case?"

Debbie: Karon, I feel your pain! I'm married to a packrat. After 15 years of trying to make him use MY system, we finally created a system that works for the both of us. I don't nag or clean his areas; he keeps his stacks neat. He now uses a weekly clean-out system and it sure beats waiting until we move to a new home to clean off his desk!

Cynthia: A weekly clean-out system sounds useful if I could just get to that point...

Karon: He's a packrat extraordinarre! <sp?> It's in the bedroom, the living room, and the shop outside...

Debbie: Books are hard to let go of sometimes. Follow this rule in any scenario: If you haven't used it in a year, you probably never will! clothes, books, kitchen gadgets, garage tools - they're all the same when it comes to taking up valuable space.

LaMonica: Hey lay off the desk <lol> That is where I put everything for me to organize but then finding the time is the hard thing.

Debbie: Cynthia you CAN get to a weekly cleanout, and eventually a daily one. Taking 15 minutes a day EACH day quickly adds up. Eventually the piles will get shorter!

Cynthia Okay I have made some progress so I believe you. Learning about the categories is helpful.

Paula: Debbie, my hubby and I are both packrats, collectors, on and on. I have been trying to clean up my act so to speak and I really feel that he is working against me. Any hints?

Cynthia: There are some books however that I know I want to keep that I haven't read yet.

LaMonica: That is true when I am bored before you know I have cleaned and organized the whole house.

Debbie: Karon, one tip for packrats is in the 1 in 1 out rule. For every garage sale find, dumpster goodie, or Walmart sale item brought IN, they have to give up something to go OUT. I use this rule with my packrat son (age 6) and it's encouraging his dad, too!

Karon: Oh wouldn't that be bliss?? Lol

Debbie: Cynthia I'm so glad that helps. It's a start isn't it! You can do it!

Cynthia: Yes, it is a start. Thank you very much.

Karon: Unfortunately, it's hubby and 3 boys who are following his lead...I think I'm toast.

Debbie: Paula, it's indeed hard enough to control our OWN clutter without having a chaos creator add to it, right? Try being accountable to each other, or find a good friend. Set some weekly goals and then discuss how you met them or why you didn't quite make it. My son and husband are talking about their input overload now, and finding creative ways to collect without it overwhelming them (and me).

LaMonica: I think that I can let go of clutter but sometimes I feel that I amount of my comfort zone then things are back the way they were. I think that it is a good idea about marking things on the calendar and my husband keeps reminding me to do that.

Debbie: Cynthia for those books you DO want to keep, go VERTICAL when storing them. Put them in sight on a shelf over windows and doors, hang them on a rack over your door, and they'll remind you to enjoy a good read now and then. Create a little box or bin for those needing to be sold or donated, and drop book in after reading them.

Paula: Half-Price Books are my downfall. I can find the clearance section without opening up my eyes.

Cynthia: I sell books online now.

Debbie: LaMonica, it's easy to get organized - the majority of America does it every January! But STAYING that way on a daily basis, now that's the trick! Hopefully I've given you a few simple ways to do that. They all add up, and you'll find things are much easier, giving you more time to spend with your families.

Cynthia: Thanks for the tips Debbie

Paula: Thanks for the idea of a discussion with my hubby. I am usually distraught when the subject comes up so if we start talking when it isn't such a touchy subject that might be very helpful.

Debbie: Cynthia, great idea! Books last for ages, and future readers don't mind used ones at all. Just pass on the good ones, and try using that 1 IN/1 OUT rule at HalfPriceBooks! LOL

Debbie: Cynthia, you're most welcome. Glad to help.

LaMonica: Show me how because I was always a housewife until about 2 years ago when I worked for 2 years 2 months and now I am home again, and I just feel like I am no help to my husband.

Debbie: Paula, communication is KEY! For years I was being passive aggressive towards my husband. I thought EVERYONE knew how to clean up after themselves, put their clothes away, and so forth. WRONG. He never learned this, being the youngest of 3 with a doting mother. Later she apologized to me for not teaching him basic life skills. I had to learn the hard way to lower my expectations a little and he raised his standards a little. We eventually met somewhere in the middle.

I think having a schedule for housework helps tremendously. It's like scheduling your workday at the office and keeps you focused on what needs to be done. I write my housework tasks down on index cards (in pencil so I can change it) and look at it on the fridge each day. You can also write it on your calendar or in your planner. Scheduling helps you create a routine. Consistency helps you keep up your organizational system.

Cynthia: Scheduling and consistency are not skills I have learned.

Debbie: Family meetings are important too. Begin with a simple plan or idea, ask your husband for a quick business meeting at HIS convenience, and keep it short. This shows him how important it is to you, while respecting his time, too. You'd be surprised at how good of a system you can come up with together!

LaMonica: That is a GREAT idea... my mother told me that the day was going to come when I needed to write things down. I felt like that was more paper to keep up with. But in the end I found out it has been a BIG help

Debbie: Scheduling is just learning how to make lists, set goals, and prioritize your tasks & errands. If you use A, B, and C priorities, It's pretty simple and doesn't have to be elaborate.

Debbie: LaMonica, writing things down is KEY when you live busy lives as we all do. I've become my mother, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge only to say, "Now WHY did I come in here?" LOL It happened and I'm just barely 40!

Debbie: with women, more so than men, we multi-task (do more than one thing at a time). We have to, or the kids would starve! There are so many things going on in the house, car, work and our husbands and at school, that it's too much for ANY ONE person to keep up with! That's why we need to write it down.

Paula: I think I just have to teach myself to stay focused. I'll be writing a card to someone and someone else will come to mind so I'll go off in search of that perfect cartoon I cut out for them and then on and on. The chase is better than the finished product for me, I think.

Debbie: Use a planner, PDA, family calendar, steno pad, or index cards. But use the same system every time and put it in the same spot each time to find it easily.

Debbie: Focusing is hard isn't it? I have a bumper sticker in one of my kits that says SLOW DOWN AND FOCUS ON GOD. By focusing our entire day around Him, putting Him at the center of our priorities, and asking HIM to help us create our to-dos it's amazing how things fall into place smoothly.

LaMonica: When I send cards I do them all the same day. Usually a Wed.

Debbie: That's where writing things down helps. Schedule time to write your cards at once, then you can relax (a little) knowing that other tasks have their time, too. Marnie's SLG lessons from Ecclesiastes (to everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven) ring true in our everyday lives.

LaMonica: I am the president of our Jr. Mission at my church and it is hard. I pray and always ask God to show me how to do things His way... It is not that I do not trust God. It is myself that I do not trust. I feel the fear of failing and that's when the clutter starts again.

Debbie: Know that each of you is NOT alone in your quest to get organized. You have friends, neighbors, and relatives who struggle with this each and every day. Our busy lives allow many interruptions, and it's up to us to filter them out. It may be hard at first to limit our interruptions, turn off the IM, or not respond to a voice mail, but family comes first! And by taking care of our family we nourish ourselves and focus more on God's plan for our lives.

Cynthia: It's hard to break habits, but I believe change is possible at any age... even at my age, which is 44 next month.

Paula: You know I never ever thought of scheduling time for cards and correspondence. I am the spontaneous sort so when the mood strikes -that's why things are the way they are I guess.

Cynthia: I agree with Paula. Waiting for the mood to strike does not work.

Paula: I told my hubby the other day I wished my life had filter programs like the email ones - your words just really spoke to me.

Debbie: I know what you mean about the focus - it's something I struggle with every day. If I weren't organized, I could NEVER homeschool my son. And if I didn't turn each day over to God, asking for HIS direction, I'd never make it. My son and I both have found that our day goes downhill if we don't start it with a devotional. (Talk about learning with the student!) Giving our time to God, focusing on His word and will for our lives is the best way to stay focused.

LaMonica: I have kids and they are teaching me how to organize. Because I do not want my 4 sons to get married and their wives be mad at me because I did everything for them and I do not want my daughter not to know how to take care of her husband either.

Debbie: Paula, this is so awesome! If there's one thing that has failed in my life as a mom, it's my FILTER system. I find myself focusing only on 1 or 2 things at a time these days, rather than trying to do several things at once. And that's a GOOD thing, in my opinion, when it's my family. Instead of having my mind elsewhere, I try to focus on what's going on in the room (not in my head, or in my planner) I've already used my tools to journal and plan.

Cynthia: I hate to say this but I'm an example of someone who doesn't know how to take care of a family, and listening to this is showing me how much I need to learn discipline. I've been single all of my life and struggled with just taking care of myself. Asking God for guidance and doing a morning devotional sounds like another good tip, Debbie.

Debbie: Wonderful, Cynthia. It's changed my life and that of my family so much -- it's well worth the small investment of time it takes to start your day off right. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the change in your own life, too!

LaMonica: I am working on that with my children. When we start the day in prayer and end it that way we have a GREAT day and a GREAT night of sleep.

Debbie: We probably have time for one more question before we close today. Is there anything you'd like to ask or something you'd like me to clarify?

Cynthia: I've been asking God to change me into a woman who is ready for marriage. I think getting organized and learning how to take care of a home is part of the process.

LaMonica: Thank you for the tips Debbie I will try to pick up your book... It has been a big HELP for me.

Paula: Just want to thank you all for being a blessing to me today. I get your newsletter Debbie and thank you for your ministry.

Cynthia: Debbie, I'm also grateful for finding you and your website.

Debbie: LaMonica, you're most welcome. My book is a step-by-step guide, a primer, for organizing your home and managing your time. Put Your House in Order includes many of the challenges we each face, and hopefully you can learn from my life lessons without experiencing them the hard way yourselves! I'm happy to share.

Paula: Marnie, this is my first time participating on something on your site. Will not be my last. Thanks so much for your ministry too!

Debbie: Paula, thanks so much - I'm delighted that it's helped you.

Debbie: Ladies, thank you so much for spending your morning with us today. God bless you and your families. And Marnie, Thank YOU for producing this awesome conference for us!

LaMonica: I really enjoyed this and hope this will not be my last time doing this.

Paula: Now off to a paper pile!

Debbie: Have a wonderful organized day, ladies. Bye for Now!

Marnie: Thanks for the great tips Debbie!

Debbie: You're most welcome, Marnie. It's been a pleasure.